Online pro eating disorder forums are full of “thinspiration”, fatphobia, and people who encourage others to actively harm themselves through eating disorder behaviors. As I was going through my post ideas with my mom (who, by the way, has been one of my greatest supporters during my recovery), I was trying to explain to her what these forums are and how toxic they can be. When I showed her a pro-ed thread, she was shocked that something this damaging could even exist.
The harms of these forums are that they encourage a person with an eating disorder to continue behaviors, give tips and tricks on how to make weight loss more effective, and feed into the competitive nature of eating disorders. They also actively demonize people without eating disorders, people in recovery, and professionals who promote recovery. As someone who used to be an active lurker on these forums, I can attest to the very harmful effects of these groups. They ignore the science about how deadly these behaviors can be and encourage members to resort to extreme weight loss tactics.
Considering there is about a 10% mortality rate in populations with eating disorders, and having an eating disorder increases your risk of mortality by 200%-500%, it’s always perplexing why sufferers don’t take their condition more seriously.
Someone struggling with an eating disorder doesn’t see their behaviors the way a non-disordered person does. They may be aware that their eating disorder is there or even that it’s a problem, but they will never understand the extent to which it harms them until after they start recovery. For many, an eating disorder acts as a safety blanket. It’s a way for them to shove away their feelings, because who can have emotions or focus on experiencing life when all you do is constantly obsess over food and your body?
Because people suffering don’t see their eating disorders as the serious and deadly illnesses that they are, they have no problem endorsing behaviors with other like-minded people online. I feel so fortunate to be able to say that I never encouraged others to use behaviors. I regret to say that I would occasionally post about my progress and my feelings of failure for not meeting my goals fast enough. People would tell me that I was doing great, they were envious of me, and I inspired them to keep going. They would encourage me to keep doing behaviors and tell me that I would be so happy once I reached my goals. This mantra is abundant on these forums, despite the fact that these harmful ideas can kill.
These forums are incredibly hard for outsiders to shut down. Once one starts, at least 5 other backups are made on the same or different websites. These backups usually use code names and don’t become active until the main one gets shut down. You then wait until the leaders start posting on one of the backups. For every one forum shut down, at least two more are made. This exponential increase makes it very difficult to find them all and, more importantly, shut them down. If you want to leave, you have to actively make the choice to do so.
If someone with an eating disorder decides they want to leave or that they want to try recovery, they are met with hostility, bombarded with messages trying to convince them not to, and told that they are weak for letting xyz get them to make this decision. They will likely be shunned and shamed by the same people who were their “friends” for the time they were on these forums. An already isolating condition feels even more lonely when you try to leave.
It is, however, worth it to leave, and there are ways to cope. Once you leave, you can try joining either a recovery-centered page or a recovery-neutral page. These spaces are a lot less toxic and tend to be supportive no matter where you are in your eating disorder journey, whether you’re ready to recover or not.
As you may have noticed by now, I am very careful on this page to avoid talking about numbers and specifics regarding behaviors. This is for a couple of reasons. The first is that my experience isn’t going to look the same as every other person’s with an eating disorder, and I don’t want people to feel like their struggles aren’t valid because we went through different things. The second is that talking about specific behaviors and numbers can actually appeal to the competitive nature of the eating disorder brain, and could encourage people to copy or one-up behaviors. I never want to encourage someone to do behaviors, intentionally or not, ever again.
Eating disorders are among the deadliest mental disorders in the world. There is no such thing as “sick enough” to start treatment. All eating disorders are serious, potentially life-threatening illnesses. If you’re struggling, I urge you to ask yourself what the benefit is to you and those you love for you to stay sick. If you find a reason, ask someone who cares about you how they feel about you being sick. Remember that you are not a lost cause until you’re dead.
